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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26896984">pen and paper</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/writethedust/pseuds/writethedust'>writethedust</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>NCT (Band)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Ambiguous/Open Ending, Angst, Childhood Friends, Letters, M/M</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-10-08</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-01-29</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-18 01:41:12</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>35</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>3,662</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26896984</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/writethedust/pseuds/writethedust</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>where Jaehyun still writes even until he gets no replies...</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Jung Yoonoh | Jaehyun/Kim Dongyoung | Doyoung</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>5</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>36</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. April, 2011</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>"This is chapters fic but it is only one letter per chapter. <br/>Just some simple stuff, I'm sorry it's angsty because I miss Jaedo so feeling turn a bit sad sad.<br/>I put open ending so if you don't like it then it can't be helped."</p>
<p>Enjoy, another lame fic from me.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p> </p><p>Dear Yuno, </p><p> </p><p>Hello. Uh. This is awkward. I don't know how to write a letter but I promise to write to you so here it is. It's been a week since I moved here and finally have time to write something. Did I make you wait? If so, I am sorry, Yuno. There's a lot of things to unpack. I have to clean and organize my room (You should see, it's been upgraded with lots of stuff I found!). I have to help clean the house too. Lots of work. Every day is tiring!! Why does mom have lots of plates??? She never even used half of it. Anyways, I also started going to my new school 3 days ago. Not gonna lie, it's a bit hard to adjust. My classmates are very nice but yeah, I miss all of you guys. I miss you, Yuno, my best friend! </p><p> </p><p>Well, that's it for now? I guess. I will look forward to reading your reply! </p><p> </p><p>From, </p><p>Dongyoung. </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. April, 2011</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p> </p><p>Dear Dongyoung, </p><p> </p><p>Hello, I received your letter well. Hehehe… I have missed you too, Dongyoung. Here isn't the same without you. Every time I walk back home from school, I always walk by our hangouts and ah, it reminds me so much of you. It makes me sad. Our favourite places look so out of place. I'm alone here and it's not fun. School is normal as always but break time is boring too since I usually hang out with you. Now I have no one. What to do? </p><p> </p><p>Seems like packing out things is hard but I want to see your new room! Can you send me photos of your room next time? I put a photo of me in our forest. Look at me! Aren't I the cutest ever? Hahaha... I have a hard time taking this because of the timer of the camera! hmf.</p><p> </p><p>Anyways, I look forward to hearing more from you soon! </p><p> </p><p>Sincerely, </p><p>Yuno</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. May, 2011</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Dear Yuno, </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It's been 2 weeks since I received your letter. I'm sorry that only now I managed to write. Since I transferred in the middle of semester, I have been bombarded with school work. I have to catch up with everything and everyone. It's like we learn the same thing but somehow it's different here in the city. Everyone is just so fast. I don't think I'm dumb but ah.... It's so hard, Yuno-ah. I wished you were here.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ah, don't be sad. You are making me sad too, Yuno. I'm so far away here and I can't hug you like always. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I saw the photo you gave me. Don't make such a sad face!!! Hihihi… though it does make me miss the forest. The city here is nice but I really do miss nature more. Send me more photos! I'll put it on my wall. Oh, oh! I'm sending you some photos of me and my room. Maybe we should send photos with the letters too. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>From, </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Dongyoung</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. June, 2011</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Dear Dongyoung, </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It had been months since you left. Time really flies and I have to say, I hate that I'm getting used to you not here, Dongyoung. It's scary. Everyday we used to be together and now it just past tense? What if I forgot about you? What if you forgot about me? What if that happen, Dongyoung? What should we do? I want you to be my friend always!</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I saw the photos. Missing your smile more often now. Didn't I tell you how your gummy smiles are the best smile ever? I miss seeing that. By the way, your room looks freaking awesome! It looks like your dream room that you told me, right? </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Last week, when I received your letter, I walked past your old house here. It had been empty since but now someone already occupied it. It feels weird now that it's alive but it isn't you. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I wonder if we are able to meet again? </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sincerely, </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Yuno</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. January, 2012</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Dear Yuno, </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I opened up this with a sorry. I'm very sorry, Yuno. It has been months since and I only write it now. Happy New Year I guess. Would you look at that, it's already another year. Indeed time flies. I got dragged into doing some school project with my new friends so I end up having to spend my time doing that. Everytime I remember to write a reply, I end up getting distract and forgot. You know how easily distract I am, right? hehehe.... <br/></span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Yuno-ah, don't be scared. Whether you like it or not, you have to get used to this. It's scary for me too but there's nothing we can do, right? At least we get to write letters to remember about each other! I miss you, my dear friend. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Thank you for sending the photo of the house. I miss that house too. Weird to see how the house I lived in is not ours anymore. Weird. I put bunch of photos I took during our school festivals! It was fun but it probably more fun if you were here! &gt;.&lt; <br/></span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Oh, how's your grandmother? I kinda miss her. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>From, </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Dongyoung </span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. February, 2012</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p> </p><p>Dear Dongyoung, </p><p> </p><p>Happy New Year which probably already long past. Haha… How's your high school so far? But owaaaa... school projects sounds so tough! Those photos though, you look like you are having really fun!!! I'm jaelous! -3- Oh, I entered a choir club this year. I have nothing to do so I entered a club. You said once that I'm good at singing so I chose choir. It was fun for now! but rehearsal can be pretty hard and tiring. I can only complain, right? kekekekeke</p><p> </p><p>Also, I adopted a puppy. Her name is Danbi. I took her photos so that you can see her. Cute, right? I found her in the forest, injured. Long short story, I ended up adopting her. I beg my mom all week hahaha until my mum finally agreed. I even had my dad backing me up. My mum still isn't sure but she let me which is funny because now she likes Danbi a lot too!!!! She likes Danbi more than me Dongyoung-ah, not fairrrr! But Danbi is cute so I don't mind, I guess. kekekekeke</p><p> </p><p>Grandma isn't in good health but she is always happy. She said she missed you too. Oh, it make me remember! How's aunt and uncle??? You never write about them, I kinda curious! I miss aunt's special pie!</p><p> </p><p>Oh, Happy birthday. I guess, it's finally the time where we can't even celebrate birthdays together. </p><p> </p><p>Sincerely, </p><p>Yuno</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. February, 2012</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Dear Yuno, </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ah! The puppy looks so so cute. She looks tiny! Danbi is such a nice name. I hope you take care of the puppy right! Taking care of pets is a big responsibility, you know! Should I adopt a pet too? But I'm not very good with animals hahaha… </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Oh, choir club? That's so nice! You're a good singer and have a very beautiful voice! You know I won't lie, right? I entered the student council, that's why I’m getting busier as time passes by. Especially since it will be the new semester in a few months. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Take care of Grandma well, Yuno-ah! Be a good grandchild. Oh, mum and dad are fine. Home lately isn’t the best but I think it will be fine. I think. I don’t know. I don’t want to know.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>This summer, I think I can visit you! I want to see you. Would that be okay? </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>And oh, Happy birthday to you too!!! </span>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <span>From, </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Dongyoung </span>
</p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0008"><h2>8. March, 2012</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Dear Dongyoung, </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>OF COURSE YOU CAN VISIT ME! I'M SO HAPPY!!! I told my mum, she said you can even stay here in our home! Oh my god, I'm so excited thinking about this. I cannot wait. I want to see you so badly. Please tell me when are you coming? Oh, oh what should we do? aaahhhh.... I think I should prepared a lot of things! Can't wait to play with you at the forest again! I haven't visit forest for a while because it's so boring by myself. We can play at the river too!! Water is a must for summer, right? aaahhhhhh.... I'm super excited!</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Oh, I will have a field trip during the 1st half of summer vacation so please tell me when you are coming! We can't have it overlap. Summer is still 3 months away and I am already feeling excited. Hahaha. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>By the way, Dongyoung, is home okay? You don't sound very good. I read those lines so many times, thinking maybe I read it wrong but it still doesn’t sound good. Is everything okay? I’m kinda worried. I put my house’s phone number here. Please call me if you want to talk!! </span>
</p><p>
  <span>xx-xxxxxxx</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Dongyoung, should I get my own phone? We can talk better rather than writing letters, right? </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sincerely, </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Yuno</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0009"><h2>9. May, 2012</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Dear Dongyoung, </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Dongyoung, it's almost summer vacation. I haven't received any of your letters so I'm sending again. I’m getting worried. Is everything okay?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>And you are coming, right? I'm waiting for you. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sincerely, </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Yuno</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0010"><h2>10. June, 2012</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Dear Dongyoung, </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It's summer vacation. My field trip starts in two days. I still haven't received anything from you, Dongyoung. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>What's going on? Did you receive my letters? Please reply to me.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I'm still waiting. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sincerely, </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Yuno</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0011"><h2>11. August, 2012</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Dear Dongyoung, </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Summer vacation ended. You didn't come. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I'm disappointed. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sincerely, </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Yuno</span>
</p><p> </p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0012"><h2>12. March, 2013</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Dear Dongyoung, </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Hi, it's been almost a year since your last letter. I waited for you but you never sent me any. I was so angry so I ignored you for so long but here I am, grabbing my pen and paper and writing again. It' s been a year since but I still remember you. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>My best friend, why haven't you sent me any? Have you forgotten about me? </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sincerely, </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Yuno</span>
</p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0013"><h2>13. May, 2013</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Dear Dongyoung, </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Still no news. I see. Is this how it will end? We talk about our everlasting friendship so much but now, what is this? </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Dongyoung, this is painful. I hate you so much. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sincerely, </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Yuno</span>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <span>… </span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0014"><h2>14. August, 2013</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Dear Dongyoung, </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I don't know what this is but yes, I'm writing again. I'm so dumb, I know. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>School is hard these days. I have to keep up with studies to get those As because that's what makes my family happy but it's so stressful. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Remember Danbi? She's as energetic as ever. Sometimes I'm jealous of how carefree she is. I wish to be carefree as well. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sincerely, </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Yuno</span>
</p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0015"><h2>15. November, 2013</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Dear Dongyoung, </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Time passes again and I'm writing you a letter at a very random time. I don't know, I just feel like doing so. It's not like you reply to me, right? I wish you would though. But one can only wish. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Our homeroom teacher gave us this speech about what I am gonna do after graduation. They ask us and I don't know what to answer. I don't know what I should do in the future. I have nothing I'm interested in for now. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>What do you think? What about you? </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sincerely, </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Yuno</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0016"><h2>16. May, 2014</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Dear Dongyoung, </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Danbi went to heaven today. She had been sick for the longest and she finally passed away this evening. I see this coming but it still hurts. She was my friend. My only friend because you aren’t here. When I'm lonely, she is always there for me. I'm so sad. I wish she could stay for more years. She is still young. But no she's leaving me alone, just like you. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It hurts. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sincerely </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Yuno</span>
</p><p>
  <span>… </span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0017"><h2>17. December,2014</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Dear Dongyoung, </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Merry Christmas Dongyoung. Ah yes, it's Christmas already and it also means it's December. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Our choir team won by the way. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ah, talking about year ending, it also means exams. We are in the age of graduating. I'm doing my best studying so I won't regret the days later. How about you? </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>By the way, remember how I say I don't know what I should do for the future? I changed my mind. I want to be a vet. I remember Danbi and I chose that. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sincerely, </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Yuno</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0018"><h2>18. March, 2015</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Dear Dongyoung, </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>High school graduation at last. 3 years old high school ended. Am I happy? I don't know. Probably gonna miss school as much as I hate them. Memories are memories after all. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>My mom asked why I'm still writing when I never get any replies from you. It's ridiculous and a waste of time. She was right but honestly, at this point, I just think it as a habit. I ended up picking up a pen and paper to write. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I'm still hoping you will reply to me. Wishful thinking. I know.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sincerely, </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Yuno</span>
</p><p>
  <span>… </span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0019"><h2>19. August, 2015</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Dear Dongyoung, </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It has been 4 months since spring. Been very busy lately. I just entered a university of my choice and thus all those packing and unpacking. Getting used to the new environment—the city. I remembered back when you moved away. Is this how you felt back then too? </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>City is insane. I feel uneasy with my surroundings but I'm getting used to this all. It's fun, it has everything but you were right, I miss nature more. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Oh by the way, this is my new address. Do write to this address if you… want to reply or I guess not, huh? Just in case, here's my phone number. xxx-xxxxxxxx</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sincerely, </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Yuno</span>
</p><p>
  <span>… </span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0020"><h2>20. December, 2015</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Dear Dongyoung, </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Becoming a vet is sure challenging. Lots of stuff to memories. It's so hard but I have to eat everything up. After all, I decided on this so I have to go all the way, right? </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Oh yeah, I have a boyfriend now. His name is Jungwoo. Cute. Very funny. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Grandma is asking about you. How rare, it's been years since she last asked about you. I thought she forgot about you, I guess not. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Just like me, still remember you. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sincerely, </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Yuno</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0021"><h2>21. July, 2016</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Dear Dongyoung, </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>University is fun but the amount of school work is crazy. I have a lot of projects as I approach my 2nd year. Crazy but I can manage. You know, I miss Danbi a lot these days. We get to treat animals now and then, it makes me remember Danbi a lot. I hope she's doing fine wherever she is. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Love is hard, do you know that Dongyoung? Jungwoo is hard to please. I don't know what I did wrong but he was always angry. I tried my best but he kept telling me it isn't enough. I don't know any more. I love him but it's getting harder as time goes. </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Sincerely, </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Yuno</span>
</p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0022"><h2>22. October, 2016</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Dear Dongyoung, </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I broke up with Jungwoo last month. It was a peaceful break up but I think I hurt him a lot. We talked and I realized so much. When he said I wasn't doing enough he was right. I didn't focus on him properly. I was definitely wrong. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I was thinking of someone else. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>But I do love Jungwoo dearly but it wasn't enough. It was sad that I ended up like this. I blame you a lot, Dongyoung. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sincerely, </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Yuno</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0023"><h2>23. February, 2017</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p>Hey, Dongyoung,</p><p>
  <span>I met Jungwoo again after a long time. Our friends prepared a birthday party for us because we were born in the same month. Oh, it’s your birthday month too. Not gonna lie, it was awkward but there’s our other friends so we get along well I guess. I don’t know, I still feel guilty. There’s a time when it just left the two of us, we talked a bit. I feel like back when we get to know each other. I do miss him. He was my ex but he used to be my friend as well. We clicked after all. Seems like he moved on and even had a new boyfriend. I’m happy for him. He deserved to be loved.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He asks about me but I can’t answer it. Ah,  I just can’t because I don’t know any answer to it. I wish I could just move on like him. I hate being stuck in the past.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sincerely, </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Yuno</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0024"><h2>24. July, 2017</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Dear Dongyoung, </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I went to Japan for a trip during summer vacation. It was fun. I went with a friend who is a local hence it was an easy trip. I hardly do anything but I did help planning!  I enjoyed it. It was healing after what had happened. I'm healing. Little by little. I'm healing.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I think my friends noticed I was feeling low, so they brought me to a lot of places during summer, not just Japan. I feel thankful for them. They are so kind. I cherish them, my friends. But I still didn't tell what exactly happen, with Jungwoo and with you, and that I'm still writing letters to you. I bet they think I'm an idiot because admittedly, I am. I bet they are curious about me, but they never ask. They are so kind. I hope I able to be brave and told my story.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>someday.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sincerely, </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Yuno</span>
</p><p>
  <span>… </span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0025"><h2>25. March, 2018</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Dear Dongyoung, </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Another year has passed. I'm getting busy with school work. It was a bit stressful so here I am writing to you. Writing makes me relax.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I went back home during holiday break last week. It's been awhile. I have been holed up here at the city, I realised I hardly visit home. I'm such a bad child. Grandma is getting older and weaker. I think it's almost time for her. I'm scared. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Talking about home, I walked around the neighbourhood and I saw the forest, our old hangouts and your old house. So many things have changed and I'm sure you will be shocked by it. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Dongyoung, am I the only one who remembered about us? I don't consider you as my best friend anymore. I wonder if you understand what I mean. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sincerely, </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Yuno</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0026"><h2>26. May, 2018</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p>
  <span>Dear Dongyoung, </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I miss you a lot these days. Where are you? Please, just please answer me if you receive this letter. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I beg you. Please, I know you read these letters.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sincerely, </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Yuno</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0027"><h2>27. September, 2018</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p>
  <span>Dear Dongyoung, </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Should I give up? </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Should I stop? </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Should I end this? </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I'm being pitiful, right? I know. You mean a lot to me, still even now. I hope you know that. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sincerely, </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Yuno</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0028"><h2>28. April, 2019</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p>
  <span>Dear Dongyoung, </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>A friend of mine keeps on telling me to go and meet someone to date. They keep on setting me up with blind dates. I decline every time but I went last week. It was nice but it wasn’t what I wanted. I know my heart isn’t perfect currently. I don’t want to burden my partner with such. I wasn’t ready I think. Ah, this is pathetic.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sincerely, </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Yuno</span>
</p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0029"><h2>29. October, 2019</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p> </p><p>Dear Dongyoung,</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Finally I graduated! I will officially be a vet now. I remember Danbi a lot during the graduation ceremony. I miss her. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Life is getting busier. I moved out to a new apartment. I put down my address here but well, I don’t know if you ever replied to me. You know, just in case. I don’t know why I’m still hoping for you. I'm so weird. hahaha/</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Please Dongyoung, just give a sign. Tell me to stop this.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sincerely, </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Yuno</span>
</p><p>
  <span>…</span>
</p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0030"><h2>30. December, 2019</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p> </p><p>Dear Dongyoung,</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It had been months since I settled myself with me being a vet. Work had been hard but fun at the same time. Seeing the animals that are being cared for here, makes me wanna have another pet. I’m a bit lonely. I’m basically home alone. Home isn't as warm as I thought.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Having your home for yourself is so nice but it gets pretty lonely too. The irony.</span>
</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>
  <span>Sincerely, </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Yuno</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0031"><h2>31. March, 2020</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Dear Dongyoung, </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Dongyoung, the image of you I had is a young boy. It had been so many years since we last met. I have always wondered what you look like? I’m curious. Sometimes I felt like I would feel that you’re nearby. Sometimes I felt like I saw you by the streets which is absurd because I don’t know what you look like. Funny, right?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>My friend said, I have your address, I can just visit you. They were right, of course I can. But do you know why I don’t? Because I’m scared. I’m scared that if I went to this address and what if it’s you? What should I do if that happens? It scared the shit out of me.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sounds ridiculous? Yeah, it does but…. It's real.</span>
</p><p>I don't know how to face you but I want to meet you.</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sincerely, </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Yuno</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0032"><h2>32. May, 2020</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Dear Dongyoung,</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>There’s a dog that was admitted to the hospital today. It looks exactly like Dambi. She was sick pretty bad but can be cured by taking the surgery. I’m so glad. The owner looks so relieved. I’m happy for them.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Today it makes me remember why I want to be a vet again. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sincerely, </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Yuno</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0033"><h2>33. July, 2020</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p>
  <span>Dear Dongyoung,</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I got a call from home. My heart dropped, you would never have imagined. My mum said that grandma passed out suddenly. She got admitted to the hospital. It seems like her health is pretty bad. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I want to see her so badly but I can’t right now because of work. I felt like getting crazy. What should I do?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sincerely, </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Yuno</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0034"><h2>34. November, 2020</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Dear Dongyoung,</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I probably went crazy, my peers noticed me. They allow me to go home. I was honestly lucky. I never went back home so fast. I was thankful I managed to see her. It could be for the last time, I want to be by her every minute before you know…..You know how much I love her, right?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Hey, Dongyoung, if you read this, will you come and meet her? She still asks about you.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sincerely, </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Yuno</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0035"><h2>35. December, 2020</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Dear Dongyoung, </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Grandma went to heaven today. I… I don't know what to do. I'm feeling so sad. I need you. I need you to hug me like we were kids. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Where are you when I need the most? </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sincerely, </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Yuno</span>
</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p>
  <span>… </span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <span>(10.19pm)</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Hello, is this Yuno? </span>
</p><p>
  <span>(10.23pm)</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Yes, this is him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>May I know who this is? </span>
</p><p>
  <span>(10.34pm)</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It's been such a long time, Yuno. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>This is Dongyoung. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>tmi: I was supposed to end it here and left it open ending but I'll write another last chapter! the epilogue</p>
        </blockquote><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>"I used to write where Jaehyun send emails to Doyoung so this time I made a letter version. Here is the link if you want to read it. Mind you, it's old so it's lame. <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/15166328/chapters/35171675">email for doyoung</a> "</p>
<p>my cc here, <a href="https://curiouscat.me/writethedust">curiouscat</a></p></blockquote></div></div>
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